January 22, 2016
Mountaineer celebrates the conquest of the summit. Concepts: victory, success, achievement, triumph.

Vicarious Trauma: How To Learn Through Others

In my previous post titled, “Vicarious Trauma: How it Affects You Without You Knowing & How To Use It To Your Benefit” I discussed how to use smaller traumatic experiences and the experiences of others to prepare ourselves for our own, more significant traumatic experiences. In this post I want to explore how we can vicariously learn from the experiences of others.   Here is the paradigm shift for vicarious trauma; are you ready? What if you could use the trauma of others to help transform you? The technical jargon for what I am talking about is vicarious transformation and […]
January 4, 2016
Family

Business-like Consequences For Teenagers

                              How do you discipline a teenager?  What consequences are most likely to be effective with a teen? The answer may be different than you expect. Let’s imagine it’s you who needs a consequence.  Picture this:  You messed up at work.  Pretend you missed a deadline, and you know your boss has to do something about it. There are two ways this can go. Scene 1: your boss says “Hey, you missed that deadline.  Was there anything unclear about what was expected?”…  “Well, next time please […]
December 17, 2015
Senior couple laughing and talking to camera

Parental Guilt and Compassion Fatigue: Part 2/2

Human empathy exposes us to a range of vulnerabilities that tend to physically and mentally break us down into parenting mush!  We lose our effectiveness, our parenting moxie, the belief that we should be better than we have become.  And the evidence…our son/daughter is in residential treatment.  The guilt discussed previously drives us to a breaking point.  Often we think we should just buck up and take it.  But if you really look at your effectiveness at home, in the work place, with other relationships that seem to deteriorate with not knowing why?  I suggest the human system can only […]
August 26, 2015
heritage_july14-8

Control is Gone, but Influence Remains

By George Ballew Remember the days when your child would listen to you? When that sweet child develops into a teenager, we see our hold on them slip. They are slowly turning into adults which means greater independency, autonomy and privacy. It’s a natural progression. Understand Control vs. Influence. There are many things in life you can control, but many that you cannot – like a teenager. However, there are ways to have a greater influence on them. Set your agenda aside at first, and just listen. Ask clarifying questions. You don’t have to agree or approve of their thoughts, […]
August 19, 2015
IMG_8645

Get Your Teen Talking

By Alaina Chatterly The words that come out of your teen’s mouth are far more powerful than the words that go into their ears. For one thing, words coming out of their mouth are also heard by their ears. So anything you can get them to realize and say aloud will stick with them twice as long (or more) than something you have simply told them is important. What do I mean by this vague statement? Well, we have so much to say to these teens. Time is limited with them, and we have wisdom and advice and dos/don’ts that […]
August 12, 2015
consistency

Developing relationships through consistency

By Tirae There is no perfect way to raise children or to teach them. Please understand any advice I attempt to give comes from the heart in hopes it will help and you will know you are not alone. I have the two hardest, most rewarding positions on the earth; being a mom and attempting to change lives at Heritage. Kids come with all different personalities and what works for one may not work for another. However, one thing I do know is that when difficulty knocks, a relationship must answer. Just because you’re a parent does not mean you […]
July 22, 2015
5-ways-improve-relationship

Five Ways to Build Healthy Relationships with Your Teen

By Keven Downs LCSW 1-      Healthy communication is the foundation of healthy relationships.  Healthy communication can be an investment for the future. You can choose to be right or to have a successful relationship; you can’t always have both. Many people argue to be right about something. Listening is a crucial skill. Empathic listening is where the listener validates and really seeks to understand what the other is saying.  Oftentimes we are waiting for the other person to be quiet so we can state our position. One important factor in communicating with teens is that they are still forming their […]

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